Playground Moms

By: Kathy Trainor 

The slide, the swing and the see-saw- all places for kids to explore and play. You see groups of moms setting up shop in the bench and you are left looking around going OH BOY what did I get myself into.. Even if you have your favorite coffee with you the people watching is going to blow your top. As I write this post I keep in mind this is all in fun and humor.  Unknown3

Everyday moms: They know the best bench, they hog all the shade on that 90 degree day.  They will often offer to share snacks with other moms’ kids.  They know each other so well they don’t even schedule the next play date because they know they will be there at 10 am tomorrow.  These moms make you think, “I need to be better organized.”

Earthy Crunch Mom: This mom you can see right away you can see her from the parking lot. She has the bio diesels car. She brought all 4 children in backpacks. She also just made some home-made medication out of plant for her child’s head gash. This mom is very groovy to talk to, but often leaves you saying wow I wish I had that will power to play it so cool and last so long at what she does.  She is truly empowering right?

Drill Sgt. Mom:  This spit fire of a mom is me. I have given so many time outs in the middle of the mulch it makes “regular moms” give up the shady spot over on the playground because they don’t want to hear me anymore.  People often look at this mom as a bit anal retentive, but I say to ROCK ON! You know your rules and they are the same at home and away.

Cool Mom: Cool mom looks like she walked off a runway shoot. She pushes the swing cooler, she makes cooler sandcastles and often knows she is being so cool she makes a point to be loud about her cool-ness.

The Day-Care “Moms”: These woman have 2-3 extra kids in tow. They could be a nanny, a baby sitter or the poor mom who get stuck on sitter duty for the day. They are often trapped because if the kid they are watching rips a shovel from another kid they have to keep calm and not flip a lid. Otherwise they may be out of a gig.

Double Trouble Mom  (or triple):  This mom has twins, or 2 children under the age of 2 or maybe 3 under 3.. She spins faster than a Tasmanian devil and look like she could use your coffee and a shot of khalua too. I feel for this mom only because she is really me . She knows she has control at home, but in public her children have turned into evil spawn who always run the other way from each other

Social Media and Texting Moms:  This mom got a pretty cool bench but really doesn’t need it. Now don’t get me wrong I wish I could bury my head in my tablet while my kid climbs the fence and ignore the fact they are causing Sammy to fall off the see-saw.  I partly envy her. For all I know, she’s working.  I just wish I was able to tune it all out.

Lonely Mom: This is also me. I have 2 children 14 months apart. I just want to talk to someone other than the wall.  She wants to set up playdates. She wants to run with the wind and leave children behind, but she would really love to be part of the regular mom crew so she can just talk.

 A+ Mom: Another mom that goes over the top she has Green Snacks and some how her stroller has solar panels and her children shoes are recycled from cloth diaper poop. I really can’t say much more cause I am not A+ mom- I am totally more of a D- mom At least I’m not an F- mom, right?

Older moms : This one is hard because they are often as young as you or not. They can also be grandparent as parents. Regardless, they have a passion and love for this child. The child can do no wrong and is often being told candy and ice cream are the next stop. Don’t be fooled, they are old school and will expect all children to be perfect like their little angel.

Dads: Dad’s are the best play ground type . The know the rules, ever very social and truly enjoy their time at the park.  They also tend to have less issues getting their child to leave the playground.  You never see a dad with a toddler gripping the slid not wanting to leave.


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