Things I Never Thought I’d Say As A Mom

By Robin Ruehrwein

The other day I was talking to my six year old and it hit me like a ton of bricks – I sounded just like my mother.  As I’m writing this, I honestly can’t remember what it was (thank you mommy brain), but I remember actually stopping myself in my tracks and saying to my son “Wowza, I sounded just like Nana”, to which he told me: “You sound like her all the time”.  Wait, what?

Well, that got me reminiscing about some of the wacky things that my mom used to say to me and my siblings when I was a child.  After my stroll down memory lane, I started thinking about how there are things that I say to my own children that I never imagined would come out of my mouth.

And because I know you’re wondering what some of those things are, I started listing them.  Here we go:

*  Stop picking your nose

*  Oh my god, how did you get yogurt inside your ears??  Seriously, how?

*  GROSS, your nose just ran into your mouth & you just ate your own boogers!

*  Why is there a booger on my wall?

*  No, sweetie, girls don’t have penises.

*  Please don’t eat that goldfish cracker you just found under the sofa.  I don’t know how old it is.

*  Put that back in the trash. NOW!

*  Can you please tell me if you pee on the floor by accident?  I need to clean it immediately.

*  Please don’t lick your brother.

*  Please don’t cough on your brother!

*  Why are you sitting on top of the table?  And where are your pants?

*  Oh no, did you just swallow a rock?? (He did by the way).

*  OMG, get your hands out of the toilet!!

*  The next time you poop in the tub, please tell me right away!

*  If you don’t use so much toilet paper, it won’t clog all the time.

*  No, we don’t pee in the yard!

I know there are so many more, but this is all I can come up with off the top of my head. Life is always interesting with little boys, but I wouldn’t want it any other way!

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One thought on “Things I Never Thought I’d Say As A Mom

  1. Hmmm… It must be catching, b/c I have said some of these things, too. And, let me not forget, “Poop is not paint.” Or maybe I do wish I could forget my son’s early Picasso moments!

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